With February quickly passing so too is the multitude of mass text and FB uploads saying ”we’re engaged!!!…Congratulations!!” and the “I can’t believe he didn’t do it….We are so over” broken-hearted souls.  All I have to say to that is THANK GOD!!!  Don’t get me wrong I love February as it is a nice reminder to appreciate what you have and the ones that you have.  But when it goes to that cliché hallmark level…I am not a fan at all.

Truth be told…

I used to be that girl who was completely into it all and Hallmark was my middle name!  Then I learned a couple of years ago that right in the moment you think you have it all.. life throws you a nasty little curve ball.  And in that moment you feel like it will never get better and what’s the use of trying anymore.  Well through all my mental struggles and questions of why did this happen, how did this happen, what did I do to deserve this outcome…this is what I learned.  I got comfortable…we got comfortable.  I let it slip….we let it slip.  We simply got comfortable and we stopped working on us…end result was a drastic change for my future….our future.  Did I let this ruin me as a person, maybe a little for a tiny bit of time but I got me back.  I got a better me back in fact.  I no longer see all of my days through the eyes of a naïve starry-eyed dimwit.  I see what I have every day and appreciate all of it…the good, the bad, and everything between.  It is all precious in leading you to the next day.  But what is more important than knowing this is showing that you know this.  I drive my little ABM nuts with the over abundance of “I Love You’s” and MiniKisses to the point of her refusal sometimes.  But I know when she looks back on her childhood there will NEVER be a doubt in her mind that she was loved♥

My past in the moment may have seemed earth shattering and at the time may have taken a little bit of the February enchantment with it but it also opened my eyes.  It showed me what is really important in the day-to-day and it’s not waiting for one holiday to say I Love You and deliver big presents to one another or to get that ring or get upset if you don’t get it.  It showed me that, when all was said and done, I want that guy and those friends by my side that I can appreciate and love and be with on a daily basis.   I am doing pretty good thus far, no compliants♥

So hold tight to your fairy tales learned as a child of love, happiness, and prince charming.  Though my fairytale is taking its sweet little time and I am now 30, I am not writing my Old Maid card out just yet.  I will not take in 5 cats …maybe just one.  I will not cry every time I am informed of yet another engagement, that is not mine.

{I refuse to be this girl…I divorced her a couple years ago♥ and so should you}

The only tears shed from these baby blues at a wedding will be tears of happiness.  Happiness evolving from knowing someone has found their life’s fairytale in this world.  Also a happiness knowing I have not rushed into anything to find myself stuck in a decision I only will regret later when those divorce papers are being signed and lawyers fees are being paid.

Ok….to be honest I am just happy because I have not rushed into anything just to find out I ended up with this guy years down the road.

{Which I am sure he is a GREAT guy!}

Seriously though, I find so often today people jump into marriages without really thinking twice about this big commitment they are about to enter.  I see more “everyone else is doing it or it seems like the next step” proposals and I can say this because I have been there.  I have been in the “move it or lose it” boat.  But it is such a huge decision that should never be taken lightly.  Dont get me wrong, I believe when you know you just know.  There is not a time limit to be put on knowing but certainly after a year and you are still unsure then it probably is not meant to be.  But when you do arrive to that moment of ‘knowing’…that is just the beginning.  That should be the easiest part and from there on out it is work and constant work to keep that love and that relationship thriving.

It takes time and commitment.

It takes an equitable love not a unrequitable love.

Your forever awaited fairy tale is a job but what a wonderfully fantastic job to be given.  This is a job I for one can’t wait to undertake.  Just to be able to wake up every morning knowing that today you will share your burdens, your joys, your can’t wait to tell someone moments with that person waking up next to you.  How amazing is that!  This person, for the rest of your life, will know every little bad habit and quirk about you…and still love you more each day.  Because every new day gives you both the chance to find one more thing to love about each other♥  The hard work that is jumbled in between all of these moments of Love is the glue that makes it worth getting to the 10 year…20 year…50 year anniversary.  If you can get through the tough moments than you can get through anything.  Love isn’t meant to be easy or you could have it with anyone.

So my words to those ladies with good men by their side..

Don’t let the pressure of this over exaggerated holiday get the best of you….take it easy on the guys, they try.  Some hit it out of the park others just merely bunt the ball but its the effort and thought they put into it, not just on this holiday but every day before and every day after.  After all it is just a holiday that holds too much weight in the year

…and to my ladies still waiting for their prince…

you have so many wonderful moments and things in store waiting for you.  Until you realize this your door will remain closed.  Know your worth and you will attract someone worth knowing.  Marriage is sacred and it is a blessing.  It is not to be taken lightly and to me it is something I will only do once.  So this whole waiting and breaking and waiting again, well that’s worth every moment that leads to my happily forever after.

My Hallmark Love Day…

simple. understated. homemade. thoughtful.

{ABM gave her friends homemade valentines treats♥}

{she loves to bake}

{I could not have been more pleasantly surprised… this was simply perfect♥}

{This guy…always another wonderful surprise with every day I get to know him}

♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥ ♥♥

{give love freely and unconditionally but work hard to earn it back – xo}

{loveloudly.}